I am deeply in love with a man that is truly my soul mate and perfect puzzle piece. He is my other half and his love completes me. I find safety and solace under his dark wing. I am truly a blessed deity. I vow to remain entirely faithful to my beloved Greg. As I currently say farewell to my past, I look forward to and embrace my newest path upon this fucked up journey through this crazy Life!



























































































"Staring at the wall, Watching the shadows, As I fall...
My insides writhe, Though I am frozen & statue still...
And I am afraid, to look out the window, for I cannot bear the sight, of the tears upon the sill..."





















"Mind spilling out of wrist, in a delicious crimson fall...
Icy tears slide down the pale face of a beautiful porcelain doll..."

















Very Spiritual. I lost my Faith and felt forsaken by God, then I had quite the strange experience that saved my life. My love and strength and Faith and heart are safely in the hands of my creator. I am blessed and kissed by the angels...








































































I seek people who wear there scars proudly, whether internal or upon their flesh. Deep & passionate. Ready to experience the possibilities they encounter on this journey through Life. Someone who is honest, secure, loyal, values the gift of friendship/fiendship and has no problem expressing ones self or allowing me to do the same...

























"In the land of my soul, the willows have stopped in their weeping,
and the ravens eternally fly, for I have chosen Life, and I have already died..."








"And then her mind began to work, to do what it had always done,
find some grand system to explain away what caused pain; some grand way to accommodate what she saw before her..."












My dislikes: Liars, fakes, posers, wannabes, back stabbing two faces, pretty faces with ugly souls, closed minded fucks, and being confined...



"Stabbing~ knife-like~ Life like, pain in my back...
Another useless attack, of you~ of me~ true, yet never free..."


























"The time is now Midnight, somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow and I don't think today ever came..."

















"Sounds fill the air above the waxen ground, colors within the black begin to swirl around. Senses misleading, yet I am not bleeding. Thee only crimson lies before my dilated eyes...
Drugs, Dark, Attraction~Reaction..."
























Dreams:

Becoming a loving, devoted wifey to my Greg! Owning my own funeral parlour, preforming an autopsy, skydiving, taking a road trip with no map, being a gypsy through Europe, flying, publishing my poetry, being a vampire, lycan, or ghost, dancing nude at the edge of the ocean surrounded by the crashing grey waves...









































"Serpent clouds strangle the sky, Ancient winds howl their cry...
In the forest of spider trees, Pale angels lurk among the withered leaves..."









"Unspoken Words"

Upon her journey,
she came unto to me...
A young whore,
from the old, weathered streets;
Where, in Life,
the shattered soul defeats...
Although ragged & torn,
she was once beautiful,
when she was born...
With a small crucifix,
in her necks hollow,
All tears held back,
she could hardly swallow...
Yet, from her eyes,
they eventually fell.
Revealing agony of unspoken lies;
Telling the tale of her walk through Hell...
From the burning coil,
she had barely escaped.
Now covered and unearthed from the bloodied soil~
Time after time, brutally raped...
Men did ravage,
torture and mame,
Creating a mute savage,
Barley standing, without a name...
Not knowing of a solution,
she held out her frail hand,
for help and absolution...
Most would shy away,
or glare in disgust.
But, if I had me say,
in me she could trust...
Who had completely forsaken,
this pale, wide eyed beauty?
A fragile girl, now eternally shaken...
How could God cast her out of Heaven,
leaving her alone,
at the tender age of seven?
Nothing remained behind her green eyes,
but Sanity's madness;
One could not help but hear her silent cries~
Cut through, deafening, through ruthless sadness...
I took her by the hand,
and brought her away,
Out of this rancid Land...
From my strong grip,
she did slowly slip.
Preferring to walk behind,
Eyes wide open~ no longer blind....
I had saved her,
from the doom,
and in time,
she would surely bloom.
Beyond the veil of dust,
lingered a woman,
with only a razor of rust.
No longer tormented,
only scars shall remain.
Forever changed,
Never to be the same...

~Sistermystery '09





Interests:

Dusk in a cemetery on a warm Autumn night. A glass of red wine with raven's song spiraling in the breeze. A mix of black velvet, lace, leather and pale skin. Whispers, secrets shared. Blood letting and souls pounding...








































Râuri din Crimson ~ care dragoste singur are spală curat...







"Blood Within"

Ghost of Flesh,
Possessor of Skin,
I know no Life, unless I hurt what I am in...
So much feeling,
Drowning in thought,
Mortal coil reeling,
Can't believe what I sought...
I crave to see the inside & all that flows,
Yet, my blade seeketh all that I already know...
Day turns to night,
the internal craving is lost to the fight.
I must see the red~ to know that I am not really dead.
No more harm to the others,
just infliction combined of all my tortured brothers...
My prayers fall on deaf ears, I fear...
Though I know they are close now, here, and near...
If I could just get it right this time~
when the sun sets & the moon is the only light.
Why then I wonder all this anxiety & pain.
Then to know that I am to blame,
God, now I know why you have forgotten thy name...

SM '09




















WTF!!!
U R About to Enter the Schizoeffective Randomness of Me...
HUH??? Where?!?!? LOL































































































Sounds I Love:

The echo of Yesterday, the purr of the moment, the moan Tomorrow's unknown, nearing thunder, the spin of the Axis, the Roar of the Earth, weeping, screaming, the voices in my head, my cats lovingly sleeping by my ear, crackling embers, rustling leaves, glass shattering, blades slicing thru the air, crashing waves, erosion, night loons, Raven's ranting, the setting Sun, Dusk, Dawn, the pulse of the Night, the Waxing & the Waning, Coven communications, wolves' howls, flatlines, ice storms, a heartbeat, the Primal scream, wine filling my glass, the opening of a beer, white noise, greyland, Avian's flight, the silence of the Dead, sounds I invoke from my lover Greg as we make love, a breaking heart, the healing wound, Creation, Devastation, Armageddon, a distant train, the razor blade, Oblivion's spiral, the call of the wild, the whispers upon the Winds, an angels' descent... My tastes are vast & varied...as long as they are intense in their unique expression and invokes or provokes something within the trinity of my selves... Anything from Leonard Cohen to Linkin Park to Lycia...







Music:
Ambient,
Gothic,
Classical/Instrumental,
Industrial,
DSBM,
European Punk,
Hardcore/Horrorcore,
Darkwave~ Trance, Electronica, Rave, Techno,
Hard/ Thug Rap,
Alt Rock,
Old Blues & Early Century Artists,
Middle Eastern, Native American, South American, and Asian sounds,
Ritual Chants...











Korn, Sister Machine Gun, Nine Inch Nails, Dead Can Dance, Autumn's Grey Solace, Ministry, Opium Den, Lycia, The Cure, Tara Vanflower, Fiona Apple, Portishead, Metallica, Staind, Blondie, Patsy Cline, Psycic TV, Joy Division, The Pixies, Violent Femmes, Butthole Surfers, Gravediggaz, Lux, London after Midnight, Leonard Cohen, Billy Holiday, Faith No More, Oingo Boingo, Marilyn Manson, Fear of God, Deftones, Gregorian chants, White Stripes, Pantera, Swans, Mary Carpenter, Danzig, Samhaim, Tool, Dollshead, Nirvana, System of a Down, Eminem, Sisters of Mercy, My Dying Bride, Blue October, Blue Sunshine, Iggy Pop, Switchblade Symphony, The Verve, Bush, Poe, Garbage, Vast, Tear Garden, Sex Pistols, Psyclon 9, Nortt, Suicidal Depression, Cold World, Artesia, The Germs, Tangerine Dream, Azlean Underground, Christian Death, Big Black, Bjork, Sugarcubes, Xymox, Stone Sour, VNV, Skinny Puppy, David Bowie, The Doors, Alice In Chains, Olive, Beastie Boys, Front 242, Cocteau Twins, Tracy Chapman, Electric Hellfire Club, Green Day, Tricky, Rahmstein, Dead Boys, EBN, Sonic Youth, Old Breeders, Jarboe, Radiohead, Tom Waits, Smashing Pumkins, Godsmack, Linkin Park, Peter Murphy, The Smiths, Morrisey, Death in June, Lisa Gerrard, Live, Crystal Method, Prodigy, Otep, HIM, Puscifer, Billy Idol, Ozzy, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Depeche Mode, Enya, October Project, Gary Nuwman, Android Lust, Mudvayne, Madonna, Cyndi Lyper, Boy George, Tom Jones (hee,hee), Brian's Jonestown Massacre, Chumbawamba, Curve, Drowning Pool, The Fall, Fields of Nephilim, Johnny Cash, P.I.L., Psychedelic Furs, Echo & the Bunnnymen, The Church, Gene Love Jezabel, Flesh for Lulu, Killing Joke, Mazzy Star, Cat Stevens, NOFX, Jane's Addiction, Tiamat, Clan of Nymon, Type O Negative, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, No Doubt, Pink Floyd, Remy Zero, Slip Knot, Static X, Misfits, Thorn, Devo, Flipper, Lords of Acid, My Life with the Trill Kill Kult, NON, PJ Harvey, Primus, Prong, R. Carlos Nakai, George Winston, Graeme Revell (The Crow), Wojchiech Kilar (Dracula), Bauhaus, Sioxsie & the Banchees, Premature Ejaculations, Robyn Hitchcock, Cranberries, KMFDM, The Damed, O Yuki Conjugate, Pogues, Prayers for Rain, Neil Young, Legendary Pink Dots, Severed Heads, Pigface, Fear Factory, Sex Gang Children, The Bolshoi, Rita Lynch, Nico, March Violets, Red/Yellow Lorry, Zeromance, Snog, Qlazzerus, Play Dead, Spizz, UK Subs, Subhumans, Pat Fitz, Vice Squad, Belly, Gaye Byckers on Acid, Bikini Kill, Sinead O'Connor, Sabbath, Lou Reed, Nailbomb, Bob Dylan, Joan Biaz, Hole, Prince, Slayer, U2, Old Pearl Jam, She Wants Revenge, Yeah,Yeah,Yeahs, Matisyahu, Arctic Monkeys, Death Cab for Cutie, Interpole, The Bravery, The Faint, Ani D'franco, A Small Good Thing, Minor Threat, Fugazi,and I can't forget my Niggaz~ Method Man, Raekwon, The RZA, Tupac, Facemob, Spice One, The Click, Queen Latifah, Missy Elliott...
















Movies:

Any movie with the following actors/actresses: Jolie, Dunst, Barrymore, Ryder, Nicholson, Pitt, Goldblum, DeCaprio, Rhames, Tieny, McGregor, Balk, Freeman, Slater, Fiennes, Bates, Keaton, Ledger, Cage, Gyllenhaul, Hopkins, Kilmer, Van Damm, Depp, Lewis, Styles, Oldman, Townsend, Nelson, Kidman, Law, Stoltz, Arquette, Deniro~ many more but these are my top favorites and there really are too many to list...















Bound, Angelheart, Wild Orchid, Garage Days, The Ring series, In Hell, Wuthering Heights, The Crow, Dracula, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Rock Star, Nightmare on Elm Street series, Legend, Last Unicorn, Dark Crystal, Labrinth, The Hunger, It, Pet Semetary, Interview with a Vampire, Agguie Rose, Eyes Wide Shut, The Secretary, The Shining, I Spit on Your Grave, City of Angels, Leaving Las Vegas, The Fly, Howling, Barfly, Chicago, The Accused, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, Instinct, American Strays, Fear & Loathing, Donnie Darko, Butterfly Effect, Ledgens of the Fall, Legend of Billie Jean, Heathers, Beetlejuice, Gia, Neverending Story, Gremlins, Girl Interrupted, What Dreams May Come, Dragonfly, Seven, Fightclub, Meet Joe Black, Ghost Ship, 8 Mile, Harold & Maude, Sweet November, American Werewolf in London & Paris, The Mission, Seven Beauties, Hamburger Hill, Colors, Powder, Mermaids, Saw series, Shawn of the Dead, Dawn,Day,Night & Return of the Living Dead, The Feast, Psycho, Last Dance, Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses, Wrong Turn, Joe Dirt, Anger Management, Mermaids, Dances With Wolves, Flatliners, The Langoliers, Sid & Nancy, Trainspotting, Romper Stomper, Stepford series,The Craft, Niagra,Niagra, Exorcist series, The Omen, Serpent and the Rainbow,Freddy Got Fingered, Titanic, The Others, Moulin Rouge, Shallow Grave, Fear.com, Prophecy series, Willow, Hellraiser series, Hellbound, Children of the Corn, Cabin Fever, Raising Arizona, As Good As It Gets, Duplex, Crazy/Beautiful, Mad Love, The Other Sister, Philadelphia, The Doors, House of Wax, Tollbooth, Basketball Diaries, Basquiat, G.I. Jane, From Dusk Til Dawn, Natural Born Killers, 50 First Dates, Mr.Deeds, Mr.Frost, Attic Expeditions, Lucas, Gorillas in the Mist, I Vampire, Silver Bullet, The Haunting, Hellhouse, Flowers in the Attic, Devil's Rejects, Amityville Horror, The Burning Bed, Sleepaway Camp, Ghost, Road House, Warlock, Hide & Seek, Constatine, Unusual Cruelty, Misery, Freeway I & II, Road Rage, 13, Kids, Romeo & Juliet, The Feast, Closer, Poison Ivy series, Spellbinder, Dream a Little Dream, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, Mommy Dearest, One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, Hackers, Ginger Snaps series, People Under the Stairs, Nightbreed, Clan of the Cave Bear, The Crush, Swim Fan, Thelma & Louise, Stigmata, Relentless, Mirror/Mirror, 28 Days Later, 12 Monkeys, Sorority Boys, Doll Graveyard, May, JArhead, Gothika, Benny & Joon, Candyman series, Begotten, Forgotten, Single White Female, Ninth Gate, Secret Window, Good Will Hunting, Identity, Hide & Seek, Jeepers Creepers, Burnt Offerings, American Beauty, Night Fang, Stay, Weatherman, Wolf Creek, The Order, Devil's Advocate, Safe, Lost Boys, Freaks, Tales From the Hood, Pirates of the Caribbean, Agnes of God, Kalifornia, Carrie, Sybil, Bad Dreams, 13 Ghosts, Surviors, Enough, Stand by Me, The River's Edge, Rocky series, Untamed Heart, My Girl, Greencard, Groundhog Day, Shocker, The Doors, Salton Sea, Gilbert Grape, Home of our Own, Fatal Attraction, Full Eclipse, Crybaby, Basketcase, Creepshow, Poltergiest, Phantasm, Pumkinhead, U Got Served, To Wong Foo, Birdcage, What About Bob, Lord of the Flies, Final Destination series, Serendipity, Pacific Heights, Breakfast Club, Revenge of the Nerds, Some Kind of Wonderful, Necrowoman, Ladyhawke, Frankstien, Taxi Driver, Deer Hunter, Face Off, True Romance, Dirty Filthy Love, The Dream Team, Sleepless in Seattle, Bad Santa, Wolf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Cell, Million Dollar Hotel, Taking Lives, Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Pet Detective, Original Sin, Unfaithful, Intersection, Sliver, Basic Instinct, Corpse Bride, Immortal Beloved, My Life or Something Like It, Zebra Lounge, Bone Collector, Roxy Carmichael, Mask, Tank Girl, Delores Claibourne, Doppleganger...







TV~ Mindless Entertainment:

Other than my beloved angel Greg, my 4 amazing kittyz, family & friends, art, music, movies, writing poetry, reading, and sleep...I have to admit one of my pastimes is great T.V.~ one of my escapes from reality...




Vampire Diaries, Walking Dead, CSI: Vegas, Miami & NY, Law & Order SUV & CI, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace, NCIS, Cold Case, Supernatural, Ghost Whisper, Moonlight, Tru Calling, Buffy, Angel, Bones, Medium, The Closer, ER, Nip/Tuck, The Shield, Crossing Jordan, House, Numbers, Tales from the Darkside, Twilight Zone... Court Shows: Judy, Mathis, Joe Brown, Maria; Design Shows: Fashion & Interior; Medical Documentaries: Forensic Files, Medical Incredible, Untold Stories of the ER, Mystery Diagnosis, etc., America's Next Top Model, Criss Angel, Dr. Phil (yes Dr.Phil :0), Fear Factor, Hell's Kitchen, It Takes A Thief, Intervention, Jail, Kitchen Nightmares, So you Think you Can Dance, Steve Wilkos, Trading Spouses, Wife Swap, What not to Wear, Hoarders...



Eternally Beloved:



"Still Waters Run Deep"

Atop a stairwell at the bottom of a wishing well,
Some kind of dead end street lie before my feet,
A new journey or a sign of defeat?
Though down here, memory eludes me.
No desire to ascend, no yearning for an end.
Just here, quiet & still.
Gone, but not missed & full of free will...
Sitting upon a moss capped rock, my body feels no sickness here...
And I ponder, where I was before this,
Have I always been in this place?
Or perhaps I am dreaming another's wish on a ripple once cast in this still water...
Thoughts come with much strain now,
though not accompanied by pain somehow.
Flesh is cold & numb, only able to feel the liquid surround.
Motionless, yet thy senses abound...
Limbs are heavy & weighed to the ground...
Still not knowing how I got here & wondering if I had ever left,
my heart began beating hard over my left breast...
In a habitual panic, I looked down, only to realize my lower half was one with the water & the unseen depth below...
The pounding was deafening, my eyes quivered, my veins pulsed so deep & hard,
Leaves tore through my pale, paper thin skin...
Wrapping blood dripping green up & around, circular & alive...
My hands had turned to the reddish grey brickwork that made this under ground tunnel.
Becoming one, I felt my face crack & chip~ eroded by my environment...
And then I knew, I am the well, the wish, and the coin that fell.
Ripple on or say farewell...
Symbol of Hope or self made Hell...
A penny for your thought?
I've got two cents to sell :o)

~SM '10







This powerful song has a very deep & painful meaning to me. May you no longer suffer upon this rancid land & find peace in death. I know I provided the best Life I could have for you so I find some sort of melancholy solace in that reality, yet my heart still aches for you & my mind will forever be haunted by the myriad of memories. Thank you for loving me as much as I love you both. Rest In Peace my blessed Dusk & Maliki...

















Well my beloved friends and fiends if you actually made it all the way down here, I applaud you. You have just taken a journey through me, yet the mystery remains unsolved...



PLEASE~ Before you scroll any further, the next section is quite graphic & NOT for the faint of heart. If you do in fact desire to continue through to the end of this journey, please be respectful in your perception & interpretation of the following section...

I am not going to go into detail in such a public forum, yet let it be known to all~ for a myriad of personal experiences & reasons I have gained very intimate knowledge of Death....

Do NOT misunderstand!!! I shall make my voice quite clear~ I am NOT a psychopath who takes pleasure or gets my "rocks off" by the constraints/demise of Life nor the flesh we all are temporarily enveloped in. Yet, I believe most need to be reminded of their own mortality at times...

Please value & cherish your personal Life force & your immortal soul. Time ensures that you shall only remain alive for a mere blink of an eye~ perhaps sooner or in such an unexpected way than you may fathom...

Be blessed & take NOTHING for granted!!!

Mortui Vivos Docent~ The Dead Teach the Living





















And God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor weeping. There shall be no more pain, for the former things hath passed away. (Rev 21:4)















































The End!!! Or Is It???











"Sorrows sit like dew drops upon a spider's web, fragile...
Soon to disintegrate under the sun's golden kiss~
Tears, becoming mist, Ascending to the airy Heavens...
Finally entwined, from Fate's ironic twist..."