Why don't I know my purpose?
I know I have one, it's one of the few things I'm sure of, but what is it? I'm always told I'm meant for greatness, that I'm something special, but what have I to show for it?
The people who tell me these things are either my close relatives or my teachers, but how do they know? It seems they only tell me these things as motive to DO something, but what? That's the only thing that has me stuck. Everything taught in school all seems like bs to me, and I'm completely uninterested in the subjects.
The only thing I've been interested in, the only thing that has kept my attention, that I keep going back to, is vampires. But what would my parents and teachers think of me then if they knew I wish to learn of such a subject? In this world, vampires don't exist, if they ever did. And how can I pursue something that isn't real?
How do I know they aren't, may be your question. My answer; There has been no proof. Sure, some people drink blood, some get surgery to look more animalistic, but that's it. Everything that has already been proven is humanly possible, and therefore contradicts any claims of being supernatural. I've found all this in the research I've done, although the only thing presented to me have been words and words only.
Yes, I have had several opportunities to meet numerous so called 'vampires', but I never followed through because, yes I admit it, I was afraid. Not afraid of vampires, mind you, no, never vampires. But of my own kind, humans, that would wish me harm, for one sick sadistic reason or another. It upsets me also, because I've given vampires plenty of opportunities to present themselves to me, and have spent many a nights in the open, speaking to myself, in hopes that perhaps whoever was watching me, if any, would hear. Other than that, I've attempted many spells and wishes of both transformation or summoning. I've even begged the powers that be, who have failed and neglected me numerous times, for vampires to exist and if they did already, to come to me and at least let me know of their existence. Yet nothing, absolutely NOTHING has happened. I've only encountered sad nutritionally deprived humans who are confused about what species they are, and my search keeps getting more and more frustrating.
Although, something keeps me going, something buried deep inside my conscience, deep within the very core of my being, that keeps me pursuing the inevitable discovery of possibly nothing. The hope that vampires do actually exist lies in wait every time I try to give up. It has stayed with me ever since I was little, even when my religion provided no solace for me, and I abandoned it in return for never helping me.
It is indeed driving me insane, this notion, that it is possible for such creatures to exist. And this drive to discover such beings may land me in the madhouse as well. That is why I don't know my purpose, you see. I am on a quest for the impossible, without my own permission, and the world of humans reject the idea, the world that I am unfortunately a part of. A world of people that would rather turn on each other than trust and help.
Powers that be, whoever you are, I need enlightenment.
~Kimere


All of that was written when I was at a loss of everything, which I still am occasionally but I tend to keep it together for the most part, my mentality slips but I bring it back eventually.
I have some idea of what my purpose is, though whether it's extremities are true or not I have yet to find out, but for now my purpose in life and here on this site is to learn what I can about the hidden world around that of humans.
I have no desire in finding a mate here, as I currently am mated, and am deeply in love with my mate, to whom I am completely and utterly faithful. My main want of being here is to find those who can help me learn the truth. While informatives are all I seek, I'd be glad to form friendships and alliances as well.
I do not appreciate role-players, unless you make it completely evident then I'd be glad to play along (: Otherwise, address your intentions directly in contacting me.
Before, there has been some curious speculation about how much I truly know about the 'nightside'. I know enough. How much I know I will acknowledge in conversation, considering you yourself know enough as well.
Thank you all for reading,
Kimere

In what way do you mean 'solicited'? And it seems they are simply hidden amongst those who aren't, even on sites like this which are ridden of wannabes and those delusional about their own humanity. Also, I am unsure of what you mean by 'recruit'.

Thank you, I shall.

It is frightening to me that you've been solicited by "vampires" (more likely, social vampires)... I cannot imagine, if such creatures existed, they would recruit from sites like this.

Be careful out there.

I thank you for your kindness, Gothika, you are the first to ever court me. It is unfortunately a lost art, courting, now with all this speed dating that has hardly any romance in the relationships. You have given me hope that there are those out there who actually try. *Kisses cheek*

You've been courted by me. anyways, I want to say, Thank you. for your interest. very nice to talk to someone like you.